The office game has changed in recent years. Terms like 'smart casual' and 'lunch at the desk' have created a strangely informal office, where someone emails the person sitting next to them instead of speaking to them - it can seem like an intimidating place. Have no fear - we have put together a few tips to help you blend in.
Dress code
Your outfit is very important. This is the first chance you get to be accepted by the office pack, your first chance to gain respect from the tribe. So, avoid outrageous clothing on the first day - you must establish your position within the group, or 'office' first.
It depends on your office's dress code, but if it's informal, put down the ripped jeans; this is no longer the fashion show of the university campus, but the land of work. Wearing unsuitable clothing shows disrespect to the tribe, so keep it casual but stay away from the stuff you wouldn't wear in front of your grandparents.
If formal, prepare yourself: iron your shirt, polish your shoes, check for nutella stains on your suit. You could even incorporate a hint of personality into your look: a jazzy tie perhaps? But primarily, you need to look presentable.
How to greet your co-workers
Try to always shake hands when meeting someone new - don't be afraid of the gesture, it's just as easy to pick up as the classic fist bump.
Avoid the limp handshake. Not only is it unpleasant for the other person to engage in a limp handshake, there's always the worry that if your hand is too limp it could just slip out of your colleague's grasp. Just imagine. But don't attempt to crush your boss's hand either - everyone will just think you are freakishly strong and avoid you at all costs.
Small talk is also important. Those awkward, initial silences are hated by everyone. So instead, make it clear that you are pleased to be there - these first impressions are fairly important, and positivity is infectious. However, if your mouth dries up, and you can't think of anything to talk about other than yesterday's dinner, don't worry. You will have plenty of other opportunities to redeem yourself. Everyone is nervous on their first day.
Names
Introduce yourself, loudly and clearly, to avoid having to repeat yourself. Your mumbling uni days are over. When others say their name, repeat it after them - that way, you have a better chance at remembering it, and they can quickly correct you before you start mistakenly shouting 'Jan' across the office, when calling for John. Yes, this kind of thing happen. And yes, the embarrassment is real.
If this fails, and you forget all names, the best thing to do is to attempt to read any names on emails or see what names they respond to when other co-workers address them. Of course, this does mean you could embarrassingly call someone by a nickname, but it's better than staring at them blankly and calling everyone 'um'.
Tea and Coffee
Coffee is life in the office. You might find yourself consuming up to 4 cups before lunchtime, especially when you start your new job and find every day exhausting. But don't worry; you'll adjust, reduce your caffeine intake and stop feeling quite so wired within a couple of weeks.
But if you absolutely hate tea and coffee, just find another drink you like which gives you an excuse to be in the staff kitchen - this way you can offer other people drinks, and that is how true bonds are made. A friend who brings you coffee in your hour of need is a true office friend. [
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Also, the kitchen is where the snacks are. Always be near the snacks. This is another crucial rule in office life. You'll need that sugar boost when you start out, and you can always impress colleagues by using a kit-kat as a straw to drink your coffee - instant respect will follow.
Lunch
Socialise on your lunch break, even on your first day. Friends in the work place are crucial, and help you get through those long hours behind a desk. However, choosing to have last night's garlic-riddled salad, or cheese and onion crisps seems rather counteractive whilst attempting to form friendships. So perhaps avoid those.
Making mistakes
If you're human, you will probably make several errors on your first day. Not a problem - apologise and laugh it off. Spilt coffee on your boss? Say sorry, and tell them you thought brown was their colour. Sent an email meant for your mum to a colleague about what's for dinner? Pretend it was on purpose - you're about to go on a date!? Broken a company computer? Well, this one you might want to blame on someone else, especially on your first day.
Most importantly, be confident. You've got the job. This is your habitat now. Blend in, office minion.
